told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
