You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ttyl tear gas
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
