I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
