Just fell off a train. Bad.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
did i walk over a car last night?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I AM VODKA MAN
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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