So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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