so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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