yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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