i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
