I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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