bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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