Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
