if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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