Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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