Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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