just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
