i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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