He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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