Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
