..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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