Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
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Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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