Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
