Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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