when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
MIDGETS
????
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
