I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
