Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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