No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
