just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
