When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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