Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i barfeds in our rink
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
