is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize