last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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