I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize