oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
