tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
