Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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