You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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