Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Couch. On fire.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
