oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
