I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
