If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
