Whod you bang
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
