Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
