Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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