i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
