Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?