I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on