She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize