I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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