I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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