Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
