It's like God shit irony all over that family
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
