That's intense
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
