They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
