I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
