She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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