redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
