yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
