Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Acid is not a monday night drug
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
