And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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